Gun-Free Zones: Because “No Guns Allowed” Signs Are Totally Bulletproof

Ah yes, the ever-reliable “Gun-Free Zone”—where magical signs are supposed to stop bullets and bad guys with AR-15s apparently read laws before committing mass murder. If you’ve ever wondered where America’s most tragic mass shootings seem to happen with alarming consistency, spoiler alert: it’s places where law-abiding citizens are told to leave their guns at home and trust that a laminated sign will protect them.

You’ve got to hand it to the politicians who came up with this brilliant idea. “Let’s create zones where no one can legally carry a firearm and then act shocked when someone with evil intentions doesn’t follow the rules.” Because yeah, when someone’s planning a massacre, they’re definitely going to stop at the door and say, “Oh no! A gun-free zone?! Well, darn, guess I’ll just go home and bake cookies instead.”

Schools? Gun-free. Malls? Gun-free. Movie theaters? Yep, also gun-free. Now let’s take a wild guess where psychos with no regard for human life keep showing up. It’s almost like predators prefer their prey defenseless. Crazy how that works.

But don’t worry, the same people who gave us these brilliant ideas are now working on more laws to fix the problem they created. Because obviously, if banning guns in one zone didn’t stop a shooter, banning guns everywhere will definitely work. Just ask Chicago. Or New York. Or, better yet, California—where criminals apparently have weekly “Most Creative Workaround Gun Law” competitions.

Here’s the hard truth anti-gunners don’t want to admit: the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun… is a good guy with a gun. You know, the kind of guy or gal who actually does follow the law, carries responsibly, and doesn’t need the government to babysit them.

So the next time someone starts praising gun-free zones, maybe remind them that criminals aren’t reading the fine print. They’re not worried about jail time. They’re counting on you to be unarmed.

Because nothing screams “safety” quite like advertising to maniacs that everyone inside is defenseless.

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